Today’s Verse/Thought: Volcanic Ash
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment . . . But anyone who says “You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell. Matthew 5:22
When you think of an active volcano, what comes to your mind? Fire, smoke, heat, running lava would most likely be your response. Now, what do you think of when you think of an inactive volcano? Have you ever walked about on the edges of an inactive volcano? There are ashes, yes. But even more amazing is the presence of rock which has been formed by the heat. That rock, called obsidian, is dark, hard, and glassy, like granite. This is exactly what happens to the spirit of a person who is the recipient of profuse anger, anger that lashes out, You stupid idiot, anger that is vented and never resolved.
Often in my seminars, as well as in my book, I speak about a hardened or closed spirit. When a person has been angrily vented upon by a spouse or a parent, or any one else, that individual sadly develops this hardened or closed spirit, just like obsidian. That person’s spirit becomes dark, hard and glassy, a result which is extremely destructive and can often take years before healing is realized and that person’s spirit begins to soften.
As you approach a situation that normally might bring on an angry outburst, consider the following reminders. In fact, you might want to print this page, cut out this list, and tape it on your mirror, or in a place where you can see it daily:
HELPFUL GUIDELINES FOR PROPER ANGER MANAGEMENT
* Attack the problem, not the person
* If possible, prepare the setting to handle disagreement
* Back up opinions with facts and examples
* Avoid unkind statements about the other individual’s character
* Stay on the subject
* Avoid saying, you never . . ., or you always . . .
* Avoid saying, it is ALL my fault, because it takes two to disagree
* Resolution requires cooperation – avoid the silent treatment
* Don’t throw your feelings like stones
* Don’t save emotional trading stamps
* Offer solutions about differences
* Be humble
* Be fair
Tomorrow In TargetPoint:
Straws and Camels