Are You Willing To Pay The Price?

Thirty Years of the National Coalition of Ministry to Men (NCMM)

In 1996, On Target Ministries was less than two years old. I will never forget the call I received from Pat Morley of Man in the Mirror Ministries. He asked me to join a special gathering of men’s ministry leaders at Billy Graham’s headquarters at The Cove. About one hundred men would be there—roughly fifty parachurch leaders and fifty denominational leaders representing the church.

I arrived amazed at the quality of leadership in the room. Many of these men were well-known, authors with national influence. On the first day, Pat asked us to divide into two groups—one for parachurch men’s ministry leaders (my group) and one for denominational leaders. He then sent us into separate rooms with a simple assignment: write down everything we didn’t like about each other.

I remember thinking Pat might have a death wish.

When we came back together, something unexpected happened. Instead of a confrontation, it became a love fest. Rather than cataloging our differences, we began focusing on how we could work better together. My personal takeaway was simple and lasting: the power of a shared vision—especially a vision bigger than our problems—can overcome almost anything. That principle has shaped our ministry ever since. We had a heavy, common call to minister to men, and that call brought us together.

That night, Bruce Wilkinson spoke. Bruce had a gift for taking people from diverse backgrounds and getting every arrow pointed in the same direction. He began by asking this prestigious room of over one hundred leaders a direct question: Does anyone here believe we are in the middle of revival?

To my surprise, not a single hand went up.

Even though Promise Keepers was running strong at the time, most of these leaders understood that what we were seeing was not yet a sustainable revival. Bruce then asked, Have there been revivals in the past? Many hands rose, and examples were given. Then he asked a compelling follow-up: How long do revivals last?

Bruce had artfully brought this room of accomplished leaders down to an eighth-grade level. The clear takeaway was that most revivals last between seven and twelve years. That led to Bruce’s next question: Why?

He paused. Perhaps that’s all God wanted? Then he said, I’m going to come back and tell you why. But first—how many of you would like to see a revival among men in America?

Every hand in the room shot up. Some men shouted Yes! How many of you would like to be a part of this revival? Again, every hand went up.

Then came the question that would prove profound: Are you willing to pay the price?

We all yelled in the affirmative. Bruce asked it again, quieter this time. We still raised our hands. He asked a third time: Are you willing to pay the price?

The room grew still. Bruce continued, Do you even know what that price could be? He began listing the costs we might face—up to and including the willingness to give our lives. I remember thinking this is heavy. Steve Farrar, well-known at the time, sat next to me. I watched tears stream down his cheek.

Then Bruce told us why revival has only lasted seven to twelve years. He walked to the whiteboard, picked up a marker, and wrote four words:

SIN-IN-THE-CAMP

You could have heard a pin drop. He asked, What are the sins you believe are represented in our camp? One by one we began naming them. Bruce recorded twenty or thirty. The implication was unmistakable: sin is what blocks God’s power from flowing through our lives and our collective efforts. If we do not get the sin out of our camp, we will never see a sustainable revival.

Bruce set the marker down, turned to us, and said, Men, if you’re serious, we will stay here all night if we have to—until every man in this room stands up, confesses, and repents for the sin on this list that is in your camp.

A meeting scheduled for an hour and a half or two hours went late into the evening. One by one, men came forward, sat in a chair, and were surrounded by brothers who prayed over them as they confessed. It was the most powerful meeting I have ever attended. It set in place the key principles that made the National Coalition of Ministry to Men a force in those early years, bringing us to a place of repentance where we acknowledged our need for one another—where we could do together what none of us could do alone.

Why This Still Matters

Having co-labored now for over thirty years with many of these men, I believe the takeaways from that night carry profound implications for our future as leaders determined to disciple men.

First, we must continue to find other like-minded men who share our passion and our vision for discipling men in America. Our shared commitment will become both a corporate shield of protection and the weapons of warfare required to get the job done.

Perhaps most important is our willingness to humble ourselves—to confess our weaknesses, repent of our sins, and ask our brothers to pray over us. I am deeply grateful to Pat Morley for bringing us together in those formative years. I am also mindful of Dan Erickson, then the head of church relations for Promise Keepers, who kept reminding us of the importance of praying with and for one another every time we gathered.

Finally, we are in a spiritual battle, and we cannot continue to fight that battle with secular ideas, tools, and programs alone. Oswald Chambers said it plainly: God will never do any more through you than you first allow Him to do in you.

You and I must get serious about our personal relationship with the Lord and make sure we are approaching the responsibility God has given us as pure vessels in His hands. Then we must walk together with like-minded, vision-inspired men who will not only hold us accountable but will stand with us in the battles yet to come.

The same call that brought us together in 1996 is still before us. The question remains: Are you willing to pay the price?

Vince D’Acchioli
On Target Ministries