Intentional Strategies

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This is On Target with Vince D'Acchioli. Vince D'Acchioli here coming to you from our On Target Institute broadcast studio here in beautiful Colorado Springs, Colorado. How are you doing? It's so good to be with you for this special session that we're titling Intentional Strategies for Ministry to Men. And this particular session is designed for you, the senior pastor.

You know, we started On Target Ministries about 25 years ago, right around the time that Promise Keepers began. It wasn't long after that I had the privilege of being one of the early men who attended an organizing meeting for the National Coalition of Ministries to Men. It's been such a privilege to serve these wonderful organizations over the years. But as we get into this material, which I am really praying will touch the hearts of so many of you pastors and give you a heightened sense of the importance of ministry to men in the local church, especially today. As we get into this, a little review of history may be in order.

So 25 years ago, when Promise Keepers began, what really happened? There were lots of activities. We had gatherings and stadiums and arenas and in large churches and even at the National Mall. In addition, literally hundreds of regional and national ministries to men were birthed. On Target was just one of them.

With all of this incredible activity, you would think that men today are in a much better place than ever. And while this may be true for some, unfortunately, sadly, for most men, it is not. Men today are what I believe are desperately lost. This is not a testimony against the fine ministries and all the work we've done. Rather, it's a reminder of the powerful effect of our culture, of a culture that's bent on destroying men faster than we're able to save them.

So what's been the result? Where are men today? Really? I say men today are struggling with what I call moral schizophrenia. Moral schizophrenia for me is truth learned on Sunday that cannot be applied on Monday.

Guys, we don't have a truth problem. We got some great truth coming from our pulpits today, but it begs the question, why are men having such a difficult time living that truth out in a practical way when they are out in the world on Monday? Richard Foster has a great quote. He says, superficiality is the great curse of our age. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people or even gifted people, but for deep people.

And I really believe that is true. You know, in the business world, we had a saying, and the saying goes like this. Your systems, whatever they may be, are perfectly designed to produce the results that you're getting. What that means is if you're happy with the results that you're getting, by all means, change nothing. But there's also a saying that says, if you keep on doing what you're doing, guess what?

You'll get more of what you got. And I don't know about you, but I think there is some need for us to take a serious look at what is required for us to build the kind of men that we can be proud of, truly men who are disciples of Jesus Christ. Now, how did all of this happen? Well, in more than 30 years of work now in this area, here is what I believe are the contributing factors to where we find ourselves today and some of my thoughts on how to turn all this around. Our theme, intentional strategies, I think is a good one.

The whole idea of intentionality, it suggests planning with the end in mind, a realistic perspective on functional metrics. We'll talk more about that a little bit later. But first, we have been what I believe we've been doing in all this time is our tendency is to event men to death. The first mistake I think we've made is the idea that somehow, just because a man attends an event, whether it's a football stadium or arenas, their presence there somehow would bring about life change. And again, while that may be true for many, sadly for most, it has not been the case.

Men do not change just because they simply attend an event. We're not really making disciples. The events can bring about decisions, but they lack the ability really to bring about real long term life change. The next thing that I think happened and it was a major misread for the men's ministry movement has to do with understanding who our real customer is. You know, back in the 40s and 50s, General Electric, one of the largest companies in the world, decided to advertise their new washers and dryers to you and I, the consumer over this new medium called television.

Well, what General Electric discovered is that their customer really wasn't the consumer. So the advertising campaign failed. They missed the real customer. The real customer for General Electric was Sears and JCPenney. That's the customer that they had to convince that their product was good.

Overlay that illustration over the men's ministry movement. If we are the General Electric, what we fail to understand is that the real customer really is not the man. The real customer is you, pastor. You are the Sears and the JCPenney. We should become a resource to you.

We should bring all of our resources to you and all of our ideas to you and be a servant to you in order to bring about ministry to men within your church, which is really where it belongs. That's where discipleship really needs to happen. So as we understand that, here's the problem in most churches. The problem is that we look at ministry to men as another compartment or department within the church. It's just another thing to do.

We don't have time to really give to this whole thing. And we fail to recognize that really ministry to men ought to be the engine that drives the church. Now, let me say this right up front. In my experience, I have yet to see what I believe is a truly effective ministry to men in any church where the senior pastor was not fully involved and in charge. Now, please understand, I'm not trying to offend all of the wonderful lay leaders.

I'm one of them in my own church who have been trying to to do a good job in ministry to men for all these years. They have been doing an incredible job, but where the senior pastor has not been involved, in fact, I'll say this. Some of the most frustrated men I have found in America have been lay leaders within the local church that are trying to advance an effective ministry to men without the support of their senior pastor. We'll get more into that a little bit later. But here's what I'm offering.

The following suggestions, okay, for you, the senior pastor, I want to enter into a dimension of ministry to men. If you want to enter into this dimension, I'm going to be unpacking a four stage process that will guide you and give you some ideas for establishing a ministry to men structure within your church. I want to offer these as food for thought. They are not intended to be all inclusive by any means. And depending upon many factors that may exist in your church, you may want to adjust this plan.

I'm calling it the pastor's blueprint for ministry to men. Here are the four things that we're going to cover in this four stage plan. We're going to cover significance, strategy, structure and schedule. Okay. So let's start with significance.

What do I mean by starting out with talking about the significance of ministry to men? Here's a discussion that I want to encourage you to have within your local church. Where does ministry to men fit? How important is it? Do you truly see it through the eyes of our Lord in terms of where God would place it in the body life of your church?

Remember, God has an order for planet Earth. In fact, if we look at this whole thing biblically, when God designed all this in the first place, God's order for planet Earth goes in this way. Man, woman, child. Okay. The man is the covering, the head of the family, the spiritual head of his household.

The woman is in a role, not less than, but submissive to the man. There's an order here of structure, of respect and all of those sorts of things. And then the child, of course, comes underneath that. Now, please understand, the man, woman, and child, this has nothing to do with their relative value because how many of you know we're all equal in God's eyes? But if that order is broken, and dear one, let me suggest to you, it is desperately broken in our culture today.

If that order is broken and you're a business person and you want to fix this, where do you begin the process? Well, obviously, you begin with the man. That's how you fix the destruction that's happening in many families today. But let's take a look at what most churches are doing when they approach this order. The church's approach is almost exactly flipped.

If you look at what most churches are doing, and you can be the judge of this in your own church culture, most of the time and money and energy is going to try to fix the symptom of the problem, which oftentimes is in children's ministry and youth ministries. A little bit less effort may be going to women's ministries, and almost nothing oftentimes going to the man. How can we not look at that and then begin to understand why things are not getting better? Now, here are some suggestions on how we can change all that. I want to talk to you about if you really want to address ministry to men in your church, how to set up the structure for ministry.

I think as a pastor, my encouragement is that you start by identifying men in your church that want to join you and become part of your tomb. You start interviewing leaders. Maybe you handpick your core team of men that you'd like to invite in to help you roll out your ministry to men in your church. And by the way, guys, this can take a lot of time, but that's okay. We need to be patient.

Handpick your ministry. Prayerfully consider two or three, or perhaps in larger churches, as many as maybe four to eight men who you believe possess a level of maturity and a desire to be involved in ministry to men. I suggest calling each one of them, asking if they would consider helping you, scheduling an appointment where they come into your office, sit across the desk from you, and you share your heart. Guys, I want to tell you something. As a senior pastor, when you reach out to your men and you call them into your office, there's a real sense of responsibility there that they take personally.

Call them in. Schedule an interview with them the way you would if you were interviewing them for a job application, and then share your passion with them. Ask for their input. What do they think? Then, if they're interested, I suggest going to the next level and saying, you know what, pray about it, and the next interview I'd like to have you come in with your wife and let you as the pastor share your vision with both the man and the woman.

There's something powerful about that, and it really raises the expectation and the importance of all of this in the mind of that wife, and that's a very, very good thing. Now, schedule some weekly meetings with this core group of guys. Disciple them. Get to know them. Maybe work through a book.

I've been doing that recently with a little book by Andrew Murray called Humility, and it's been a wonderful resource in working through maybe 10 or 12 weeks of talks with these men, get to know them, and then remember, here's the important thing. You need to become to each other in this small group what you expect to reproduce in those you serve. So, begin to practice the whole relational piece with these men, and now that you've done that, you can start developing your vision. The vision, of course, is extremely important. You know, years ago, I remember a story that was told me about how J.C.

Penney's executive team visited the Nordstrom's executive team for a luncheon one day, and the Penny's executive turned to the Nordstrom's executive and said, hey, we've been watching you guys. You know, you're incredible. What's the secret to your success? And the story goes that the Nordstrom guy didn't answer the question straight away. You know, he went into an adjacent room, and he grabbed this huge leather-bound book, and he brought it back and opened it and laid it before the J.C.

Penney executive that asked the question, and as the story goes, the book written 120 years ago was the original operational manual for J.C. Penney. Well, you can imagine the embarrassment on the Penny's executives, but what was he saying? You had it, you let it get away. You lost your first love.

In Texas, they say, you ain't dancing with the one who brung you. You know, the Bible is very powerful. The Proverbs 29 and 18 says, where there's no vision, the people perish. I like the NIV, which says, where there's no revelation, the people cast off restraint. In other words, if you don't know where you're going, guys, any road will take you there.

It's very important that you really spend time developing the vision, where you want to go with your ministry to men. Now, ask this core group of guys to prayerfully think for maybe 10 or 20 other guys that they may know in your body of your church that might want to get involved at another level, at maybe the tactical level, and begin to interview them and bring them into the process. Now, what you're doing is you're developing a level of core leadership. You're developing a level of people who can administrate programs and all of those sorts of things, and when you're developing this team, guys, it's very important to get to know who they are and what their gifts are. With that said, I want to encourage you to go to our website, otm.co.

On that website, there is a free natural gift test. You'll find it if you just click on On Target Institute. I've been using this test for about 40 years, and it's a wonderful test. It deals with the seven natural gifts found in Romans. It will really help you assess where your team is gifted and how to put a coordinated effort toward any program or project that you want to get started.

Now, I suggest you use the same interview process, by the way, with the next level of guys that you're going to go after. You have leadership now, and you have administrators. Now, stage two is the strategy. This is the important part, guys. Strategy is very important.

Listen, I remember speaking to a group of pastors years ago, and I asked the question, pastor, what is your product? And they didn't like that question very well, but they struggled with it a little bit. And we got to the place where we talked about the product of the local church ought to be transformation, a transformed life. I used the illustration of what's Chrysler's product, and a lot of guys wanted to say cars, but really that's not their product. Their product is transportation.

They do manufacture cars in their factory, but when that car leaves the factory, transportation is the result. Well, think about it in the local church. If transformation is the end result, then what ought we be doing in our churches? The car for us, listen, is the man, the woman, who are fully in love with Jesus and disciples of Jesus, that when they leave our factory, guess what? Transformation is what should result.

But here's the thing. You don't get that just by having people come to church and sit there. Chrysler could take the best raw material, throw it in a box, call it a car, put it in the factory floor, call a car if they want to, but it's not a car, any more than the average woman walking into the average church, sitting in your chair or pew, receiving from that pulpit the greatest raw material since Jesus walked planet Earth. But to think that that person is a transformed person and a true disciple of Jesus when they leave your building is making a big mistake. Chrysler figured out that there's a process involved.

You need to have an assembly line. You can't put the wheel on until the axle's present. It's intentional, okay? Part upon part. You don't deal with anger in a man until you first deal with fear.

So we have to remember that there is a process involved in this whole area. Also, what I've learned over the years, I've got a lot of quotes, guys, but there's only one I really like, and it's this one. I say it takes a relational environment in order for truth to become transformational. What I mean by that is that we need to be able to build relational structures and environments and groups where men can take information and move it from life implication to life application. Very, very important.

Why? Because there are stages that we have to go through in order for a man to truly change. Here's what I call the six stages for change. Let's go through them very quickly. Event, awareness, and decision.

An event, promise keeper rally, reading a book. Listen, guys, a wedding is an event, but how many of you know it's not a marriage? The best thing an event can do is raise awareness. And then as I now go to an event, I'm aware that I need to do this and such, and I make a decision. By golly, starting Monday, I'm going to start doing things differently.

Monday comes along, and all of a sudden, where do we find ourselves? We're right back where we were before. So those, and I call this the cycle of hopelessness. We now look for another event. We become aware all over again.

We make more decisions. Listen, guys, here's the hinge point. Commitment. Commitment is the bridge you must cross to transform the old man into the new man. And that's what men need to come to a place.

If you look at the difference between commitment and decision in the dictionary, it's incredible. And then commitment must lead to, and this is the part we've been talking about, process. Process is behavioral change over time. If we don't end into an intentional process, change, which is the ultimate result, will never really take place. So keep these ideas in mind.

At this point now, I move into, I suggest, scheduling a series of meetings with your whole group to begin discussing what you would like this ministry to accomplish. In this stage, you must determine several things. Okay, what are the unique needs of your men? Okay, what will the finished product look like? Again, get back to the vision.

How will we measure success? Remember, you can expect what you inspect. Measuring success is very important. Success is not about numbers, guys. It's about whether men are really going deeper.

Identify the obstacles that men face in their spiritual development and go right at those things. List some of the challenges or weaknesses that your church has in addressing men's needs. Come up with specific topics that men will need to understand in order to grow, and then talk about a precept upon precept approach, a process-driven approach. I cannot overemphasize the importance of having a systematic approach in going after men. Remember, your job is to pour yourself into your core group and these men in an intimate way.

Now, once you have all this recorded, then move to the next step, structure. Structure is the important thing here is remember, everything rises and falls with leadership. Make sure you've got the right leadership. They're highly trained. Make sure you've got the right people on the bus.

Go through the gift test. Make sure that they've got the right gift set to be doing the things you want them to do. Train quality facilitators for your small group gatherings. Very, very important ideas. And then finally, when you get all of that accomplished, you can move into the scheduling phase.

And in the scheduling phase, you've really got to assign specific responsibility to the men without giving up your leadership of the whole. Very important that you understand that. Be specific. Okay? Delegate to your first string.

Maybe they can come up with some job descriptions in writing of what your expectations are for different men in different positions in men's leadership in your church. Don't be intimidated by the men. They'll love it. Just go right at them. Now, move from development to implementation.

Plug directly into the church calendar. I suggest that it really should be the instrument that drives the church calendar, is what you want to do with Ministry to Men over the next year. Schedule all events, maybe for men for the next year. And then have a specific target for each one. Remember, use a success grid.

What I mean by that is what are you going to, what are you going to, what are the metrics you're going to use to determine that we've been successful? If we've got 50 guys coming to a men's retreat, maybe success is 25 of them sign up for that six-week follow-up course. But require of yourself a success grid. And then possibly publish a high-quality, good-looking calendar for the congregation, something the men will be proud to show off. Share it on a Sunday morning along with your new vision.

Get everyone involved. This is really critical. And then some final ideas here. Once a month, maybe a Saturday morning men's meeting. Once a year, a men's council or core group retreat.

That could be an important thing to do to kind of re-energize everybody. An annual getaway or men's retreat for the whole church is often a good thing to do. Again, if you've got the right metrics for measuring success. Focused curriculum-driven Sunday school class for men. Maybe bring in a national speaker for a special meeting or event once a year.

And initiate men's small groups. Men's small groups are really important. And then finally, the big three. As you get into this, implementation is very important, okay? The show stage.

Don't assume that everybody knows how to do everything. Train people. Ask for measurable and quality results. And remember to stick to the plan. In the evaluation phase, here you want to remember what the product is.

Design an evaluation form, maybe that helps you evaluate every event and activity that you do. Compare it against the vision. Are we really moving ahead? Is our mission really accomplishing the vision? And then try to find ways to reward success.

And then finally, if there are any adjustments that need to be made, you make them toward the end. New information and revelation will cause you to maybe redirect and refocus. And then obviously, you just go through and repeat the process. Let me close with this, guys. In Santa Barbara many years ago, I remember talking to a senior pastor and encouraging him to do some of the things that I'm talking about here.

And by the way, there's way much more involved in Ministry of Men for you, the local pastor. And I want you to know that I am here to help you. If you would like to connect with us, there'll be a slide on the screen here shortly that will show you how to do that. I would love to talk to you by phone or you could email me. And we do a lot of coaching for pastors in this whole area.

And obviously, there's much more we can share. But in this particular instance, this pastor in Santa Barbara had a medium-sized church and he was intimidated by his men. I encouraged him to call his men and ask them if they wouldn't mind coming to his home and learning more about how they can get involved in Ministry of Men. He told me, oh, Vince, they'll never show up. And I challenged him.

I came to that guy's house on a Saturday night. It was a beautiful day in Santa Barbara. Men could have been doing anything. He had 25 men in his living room. And he was amazed.

He says, Vince, I never thought that this many men would respond. And I said, pastor, let me tell you something. And please hear me. The men in your church are there because they've already made a decision. You're their spiritual papa.

You're their spiritual daddy. They're there because they love you. They will do anything to help you. What you need to do is not be intimidated by them. Go right at them and call them out.

When you do that, I promise you, pastor, they're going to come. Okay? So I want to encourage you to go right at your men and begin this process and your church is really going to help you. Now, life implication for all of this, here's one of the things we've learned over the years. Our women and families are desperate.

They're desperate. That's the word that I get from most women. We are desperate for the men in our homes to become the spiritual head of our home. That's really the life implication. If we really want to restore the family and bring God's order to the family, we've got to reach our men.

Life application. Here are a couple of discussion questions that you guys can go over if you want to form a small group or maybe you're just watching this and you want to deal with it personally. How can I apply this in my church? Maybe begin to talk about that. Maybe get some core group of guys together.

Show them this video and challenge them and have this discussion. And then what are some of the obstacles that we'll have to face in our church? And there could be. There could be obstacles in your church that you have to overcome. There's a lot of competition going on in a lot of churches for a lot of different attention, places of attention.

So you can talk about those in your group as well. Finally, for more information again, I can send you a free sample of a kind of a straw man strategic plan that you can look at and you can adjust and change. And you can email me directly at vince at otm.co. I pray this important video will give you some great takeaway nuggets that you can go back to your church and evolve a truly effective disciple making ministry to men within your church until then. God bless you.

And remember, don't forget about it.