Why

Something is missing, and you already know it.

You show up. You provide. You handle it. But there’s a distance in you that events, sermons, and your own best intentions haven’t closed.

You know the voice already:

• “I keep falling.”
• “I feel like a failure.”
• “I know God loves other people — I’m just not so sure about me.”

You’ve tried to change before. It didn’t stick.

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You’re Not Imagining It

Since 1990, the share of men with six or more close friends has been cut in half, from 55% to 27%. Men with no close friends rose fivefold, from 3% to 15%.¹ Men aren’t lonelier because they stopped wanting connection — they’re lonelier because they stopped reaching for it. Only 38% of men would turn to a friend for support, compared to 54% of women.² The cost is real: men die by suicide at nearly four times the rate of women.³

Here’s the twist: men are actually showing up to church more than ever. In 2025, 43% of men attended weekly versus 36% of women, the largest gap Barna has measured in 25 years.⁴ Attendance isn’t the problem. What happens after they sit down is.

Why a Sunday Isn’t Enough — and What Is

An event can wake a man up. It can’t change him. Real change moves through stages:

event → awareness → decision → commitment → process → change

… and most men stall in the first three, cycling through good intentions that never become different behavior. Not because they’re weak. Because nobody gave them a process, only another event.

And the process requires other men — a small number, known well enough that pretending isn’t an option. This is the part men are worst at. We’re taught to handle it ourselves, to not look weak, especially in front of other men. The data proves it: men in small groups that meet 5+ times a month score 74.1 on a standard discipleship index, versus 60.4 for those who never attend one, and 78% have a real accountability friendship versus 55%.⁵ Scripture says the same thing plainly: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16) — to each other, not just to God.

That’s the gap OTM exists to close. Not another event — a few men, meeting consistently, far enough into each other’s lives that real change becomes possible.

The Result

A godly man isn’t a perfect man. He’s a man who’s becoming. Steady under pressure. Honest when it’s easier not to be. Leading his home with humility, not control. And known by other men who aren’t going anywhere.

Every man in one of these groups started right where you are, skeptical that a “men’s group” would be any different. It is, because the process is real, and you don’t do it alone.

Take One Small Step

Walk through six weeks with a book that lays this out plainly: Vince’s The Man God Intended. Low commitment, real content, a real first step.

Take the 6-Week Challenge